The Deafening Silence

As you can tell, I have not written in a short while.  It’s not that I haven’t had the time, it’s just that the words have not come.  Several times over the past couple weeks I have sat here in front of the screen and words just seem to slip through my fingers. Or sat before the canvas, unable to paint.  Or draw.

I’ve been distracted.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future.  Where do I go from here?  When my time with AmeriCorps is over, where will I turn?  Where will I work?  What will I do?  Where will I live?

I’ve been absorbed on the past.  Where I’ve been.  What I have done.  Reflecting on lost moments.  Lost words left unsaid.  Actions and their consequences.

I sit in the silence, listening for a clue to that next step, and all I hear are my thoughts.  The hundreds and thousands of questions racing through my head.  And it is deafening.  It’s like a screaming that wont stop.  That can’t stop.

And yet I smile.  I still press on.  For the silence tells us just as much as words.

The silence is God’s way of telling me to wait.  To be still.  And embrace the moments we have, here and now.

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