As Rare As Unicorns

Several years ago, while helping my mother clean up my grandparents attic, we came across a stuffed unicorn in one of the boxes.  I’m sure there is a story behind this little stuffed animal, but I fear that I would get it all wrong if I wrote it out.  Fortunately, that is not the point of this post, so lets get back on track.  Before departing, my mom placed this stuffed animal on my dashboard for good luck.  He has remained there ever since, watching and guarding my jeep.  

A couple years later (maybe two and a half years or so ago) I picked my cousin up and took her out to dinner while I was passing through.  We talked and shared our adventures, but I remember very little of what the exchange was about or the words said.  As we drove back to drop her off with her friends, something she said has stuck with me since.  

She smiled at the unicorn that sat there on the passenger side of the dashboard and told me about a saying that she and her friends shared: “We are as rare as unicorns.”  She was talking about the gift they all kept and a pact that made them different.  She was talking about Virginity.  

I am reminded of this conversation every time I get into my jeep to drive somewhere.  I was reminded of it even more as several articles floated around the internet over the past couple weeks.  The main article shares how a woman kept her virginity till marriage and regrets the decision for various reasons.  Another article surfaced about how another young woman maintained her virginity, but in doing so, lost her purity.  

Our society is all about sex.  Listen to the music that we blast out of our radios.  Watch the movies that are played on our screens.  The industry has a hold of our hearts and, to be honest, sex sells.  

I have a good friend who is waging war against porn.  Fight the New Drug.  It’s an addiction that all young men face and many struggle with.  

So, why am I bringing up porn, purity, and virginity?  Because they are all part of the same conversation.  

I am a virgin.  I take pride in that, but I don’t flaunt it around.  It gets really awkward when I’m around people and the topic turns to sex.  Then it gets even more uncomfortable for everyone when they ask for my opinion.  Or when everyone is sharing where they had their first sexual experience.  Or when people notice that I have removed myself from the conversation.  

In keeping my virginity, I have, at times, sacrificed my purity.  Both are gifts from God.  I have struggled with defining what makes a relationship too physical, and have come away knowing that something doesn’t feel right.  Do we allow ourselves to kiss one another?  Cuddle?  When is it okay to take it to the next level?  

My hesitation came from within.  I didn’t want to sacrifice my beliefs, my code for second thoughts.  For shame when we parted ways.  It cost me relationships.  Friendships that will never be the same.

I was told (and believe in my heart) that it is extremely rare to find someone who is still pure.  Don’t, for one second, believe that maintaining ones virginity is the same as maintaining your purity (see This Article for more of what this means).  Purity comes from God, shown through how we live, breath, and act beyond our words.  It is a constant battle that we have to fight, every day.  Every night.  

And then comes our society.  I had a conversation with a co-worker as we traveled across the country over the past couple days and he noted that so many people speak out against derogatory comments about women, sex, and fight for their beliefs, but then we (as a society) turn around and blast music in which the lyrics talk about sex, idolizing the female body, and viewing each other as objects to be used for pleasure.  And we make the excuse that music is allowed to say these things because it is entertainment.  

Is there a difference between singing about sex and viewing porn when it comes to our purity?  That’s a question we have to ask ourselves.  And something that we need to be cautious of, for we tread a slippery slope.  Once we start going down that path, it is hard to come back up.  Trust me.  

We come back to something we keep on flirting with, but nobody wants to address.  The new drug that is porn.  We are made to believe that we can evade the truth by looking at images and not an actual person (which in itself is a lie).  We want to claim that it is innocent, but the voice in our head reminds us over and over again that this isn’t what God had in mind when He made us.  

Yes, I have walked this road and have fought tooth and nail to remove myself from it.  

So, I ask again, how do we know when our purity is at risk?  Ask yourself if there is any shame involved.  That is our biggest clue.  So we run from it.  It’s not easy, especially in our American society that glorifies sex, idolizes beauty, and tries to tell us to embrace the joy, the thrill, and drown out the shame beneath the waves of pleasure, booze, and company.  

I’ve come to realize that there are plenty of people who are chasing after purity with joyful hearts.  We come from all backgrounds.  From all paths of life.  And join together on the road of life.  We may not be perfect, but God is shaping us into unicorns.


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