Walls, Moats and Fortresses of the Heart

We’ve all heard the saying that the walls that we build to protect ourselves are the walls that confine us.  We build up defenses and find ourselves alone within the walls that have become our own prison.

I was talking to a Corps Member earlier this week and they made an off-hand comment that sometimes they feel alone within their empty halls, even though they have kept the doors of their castle open.

It’s not the open door that scares others away.  It’s the walls that rise up to the sky, crowned with parapets and towers.  It’s the moat that we have filled with our troubled thoughts and emotions.  It’s the defenses that we have built up to protect ourselves that ultimately harm us through loneliness.

It doesn’t matter how big your door is, it can always be closed in times of stress.  In times of danger.  In the moments that really matter.

Our defenses cut us off from those we love.  They shield us from the compassion of others as well as the attacks that life lashes out at us.

It’s easy to tell someone to tear down the walls, but the action of leaving yourself vulnerable is one of the most terrifying thoughts.

I once had my walls built up as a fortress, spanning across the heart and soul in an effort to save myself from the pain of the world and I found that I used it to hide from those that I now know to love me dearly, those who care for me.  It took me years of struggles to throw off that first stone, but the walls did not come crashing down all at once.

Sometimes I still retreat to those ruins that still stand.  I hug the broken walls to feel their comfort, but I know that the more I hide, the more I hurt myself.

There is a saying that we cannot make it in this life alone.  We can build up our walls and survive.  Only for some time before everything comes crashing down on top of us.  By tearing down the walls, I have come to know what it means to live with and for others.

I have found a solid community that stretches across the nation and over the seas that I can stand shoulder to shoulder with.  They have given me the strength to tear down these walls, but they didn’t do it for me.  It was a choice.

I realized as I learned to fight for one another.  Standing side by side with those who love me for all my faults and weaknesses has taught me that an army, even if it seems like a rabble, is able to defend itself a lot more than a lone warrior behind a wall.

Just another rant late at night…

God Bless and PEACE

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