Sometimes dreams can be so confusing and so chaotic that at times they seem like nothing. Then there are other times when they are so vivid and real that we become lost in a mix of reality. Dreams are said to be our unconscious minds trying to tell our conscious something about ourselves that cannot be put into words. i believe that, at times, dreams are just dreams but there are a few cases where dreams are things that God has placed on our minds.
A few months ago, Febuary at some point, i had a dream that was so vivid, i still remember it today. I woke up, and fearing that it would slip from my grasps of memory, i jumped out of bed and attempted to capture it on the page. these following words cannot and will never stand up to the images that are burned into my mind.
Well, part of the journey (or actually the whole thing) you have to carry up this log. Something about killing the spirit by placing what looked like a cross on its head.
As we approached the base of the mountain, we were met by a group of monks praying at the gates that led up the trail. They told us to turn back, we were too young, too brash, too brave, that we would die. And we ran past them.
So we start out by just charging in and picking up this log. All of us (don’t know how many of us there were) but we cant get it through the gate due to the fact that the lof is huge and it is heavy and it is just awkward.
So, with me standing off to the side, the group leans it up against some rocks, starts praying and starts taking chalk, pastels, pens and pencils and writing and carving all over this piece of wood. And I feel alone because I am not taking part.
So one to the girls turns and smiles, inviting me up to write a prayer before the journey, and I go to write “Thank you for all the people you have placed in my life” But all I can get out before they start taking it down to start up the path is a very rough “Thanks”.
So we start out down this trail, all of us carrying this huge cross type log, running at breakneck speed. There is someone ahead of us that we are following, and I am in the front, leading all the rest of the group after this person. All along the road, there were signs that held paintings of demons and told all to turn back, but eventually they began to fade.
One by one people begin dropping off from the cross, but it isn’t getting any heavier, till finally, I take a wrong turn at a fork in the road (actually it was the choice to follow a bridge over a river-marsh-thing or off the side of the bank). I went towards the bridge until I realized the only other guy carrying the cross was stopping.
With that he turned, forcing me to let go of the cross, and said “Follow me” then took off slowly down the bank of the marsh. It was weird, because as he walked ahead of us, the log didn’t look as big as we imagined it before.
Eventually we had to start wading across the water, and it came up to my armpits, but I continued to follow that man carrying the cross by himself, but continued to fall behind with the rest of the group.
Then, some one started saying we should turn back, find another way. There was too much danger. I saw a alligator head come up from the water and I began to back off. I realized that I couldn’t see, it started to go dark, and started to panic, but the girl that smiled at me, inviting me up to the cross to write “Thanks”, grabbed my hand and began pulling me through the water.
The only thing I saw was a flame that broke through the complete black, that blinded me even more than the present darkness, as she pulled me through the danger, after the man with the cross.
As we both came out of the water on the other side of the bank, we both collapsed, my sight came back and I saw that where I saw the flame, she had a tattoo that was in memory of a child that had cancer. She said that that child had been her, and the medical world had told her there was no hope, but God was there. And God had granted her the chance to bring yet another life into the world.
She told me, what I saw was the hope that I carried within myself. The very hope that was darkened out by the world around us. And as we sat there on the bank, I felt comfort, not because someone else was there in the darkness that surrounded us, but because I was there comforting her.
I wrote this within minutes of waking up, and i still remember it vividly, just like i woke up seconds ago. What it means, i’m still trying to figure it all out, but i know that God revealed some amazing things to me through this dream, and i am changed because of it.
I post it because it is part of my journey, and throughout the following months i will be refering to it as i try to put thoughts into words. Eventually, i hope to share what God has revealed to me through this dreams in words that are not allways images, but explinations of life.
God Bless and PEACE