NOTE:  I have not actually been able to see this film, but I’ve only heard good things about it.  As one friend said, it changed how he loves and it strengthened his faith in Christians. 

Throughout this past year, we have seen courage in many forms.  We saw it in Joplin, in St. Louis and throughout the Southern States when the communities ventured out into the wreckage left by tornadoes.  We saw it in the faces of our families, friends, and loved ones who entered into war zones to fight for freedom.  I saw it in the faces of hundreds of AmeriCorps members as they went out to serve. 

We have examples all throughout our lives.  Children want to be Firefighters and Police.  We want to be warriors, knights, cowboys and indians.  We dream of finding new worlds, exploring the unknown and fighting the good fight. 

Courage is more than facing down death through our job and occupation.  It is more than finding something to die for.  It is more than standing up, than leading, than learning how to love to the fullest. 

Just over a year ago, a man wielding a gun killed six people, injuring another thirteen.  Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head, suffering devastating injuries that threatened her life.  Months of healing and recovery has brought her back to her feet and she continues to be an inspiration to this nation. 

Courage is more than something we can see, but it comes as a change in how we live.  In the past couple days, Giffords announced that she would be stepping down from her seat in Congress to focus on healing and her recovery. 

As she steps out of the spotlight, I am reminded again of the movie mentioned earlier.  It takes a lot of courage to focus on what is important.  Her family has come around her, Congress has united around this symbol of hope and our nation has united in hope.  This is just another example of courage that we see every day. 

I can go on and on about all the different people, the individuals who have shown me what it means to have courage.  From teammates who broke down in front of me to family who have served in the armed forces, missionaries in the dark continent to firefighters who enter into the flames, visions of courage are all around us. 

As Christians, we have even more examples of courage.  When we follow Christ, we must have the courage to go against the norms of society.  So we look to church leaders and to fellow believers for their courage, so that we may be encouraged by their strength. 

God Bless and PEACE

Ever since my time in Uganda (during the summer of 2009) I’ve been haunted by my experiences at the Agule Community Health Center.  It may be the lingering effects of malaria still haunting me, or it could be that what I saw changed who I was. 

I returned a different person.  I saw death take a child and heard the piercing cry of his mothers mourning.  I felt the darkness creep in around me, even though there was nothing there.  I heard the rain pitter pattering on the tin roof above me and watched as the sun faded away and night overtook the land. 

I’m still haunted by these events.  I lay my head down and close my eyes and I still see their faces.  I still hear her scream. 

Not even a year ago, when we received the call to respond to the devastation in Joplin (the morning of 23 May) a weight landed in my stomach.  I heard her cry again, saw death again, and I was afraid.  We arrived in the darkness of a storm and I knew that I couldn’t head out into the debris, the destruction. 

I volunteered for the night shift that first night because I was afraid of what I would see when I shut my eyes.  I didn’t want to see death again.  I was afraid of what I would see when I ventured out into the wreckage.  So, I listened to their stories, their acts of bravery.  I stayed up all night because, like them, I feared what sleep would bring. 

I still see them.  I still hear their stories.  Rain comes and I can see the fear in their hearts once again. 

I eventually did venture out to capture the story of the response.  It was one of the smallest things I’ve ever done.  And one of the hardest. 

Walking through the ruins, we experienced more than just the sights, but the smell of rotting meat, left over food, garbage spewed across the ground.  Almost like walking through a haze, we wandered block to block alongside the last of the Search and Rescue workers. 

In those days, I saw the sights that accompanied the stories that had been told.  And again, I found myself awake at night, wondering.  Unable to sleep. 

We returned to Denver a wreck.  All of us.  Nobody came out of those two weeks in Joplin untouched by its effects.  Some of us hid it better than others, but we all had changed.  And the biggest question that weighed on our hearts was this:  ”Could I have done more?”

If things had been different.  If we had arrived sooner.  If we had more time.  If….  If. 

Through talking with my teammates and the amazing AmeriCorps staff on campus, I realized that we will never be able to find out ‘what if’.  There was nothing more we could do.  We have to let go of the questions and remind ourselves that we did everything that we could in that moment.  There was nothing else that we could do. 

I still see them when I close my eyes.  The visions still haunt me.  Uganda, Joplin, it all mixes together alongside the rest of my experiences in Togo, Honduras, Spain, Houston, Tulsa, Crown King, Williamsburg and all the other places my feet have taken me. 

But I know that I did my best.  In that moment, when I could have frozen, when I could have run away, when I could have shut down, I moved.  We can be haunted by the questions or we can realize that we did our best in the darkest moments of our lives. 

The memories will always be with us.  They are a part of us.  They have made us into who we have become.  I no longer fear them as I once did, even though I still see them when I close my eyes at night…

God Bless and PEACE

I’ve been know to say “The most dangerous place to be is in the palm of God’s hand.”  He doesn’t call us to live safely on the sidelines, but calls us to areas in the world that are not safe to be.  War zones and areas of darkness (sometimes both). 

Our faith is dangerous.  It is our weapon and our shield.  When you think of warriors, you don’t expect to see the man on his knees before the Lord.  We want to envision men with guns, combat knives, swords and covered in scars. 

I was once told that if you were not persecuted for being a Christian, then you are doing something wrong.  Not just made fun of, but persecuted.  Humiliated.  Put in danger.  Killed. 

Is this something we really want to teach our children?  Is this something we, as Christians, want to talk about?  Here in our society, we like to be safe.  Save for the future.  Make ready your retirement.  Well, when you walk with Christ, the only retirement you will ever get is heaven. 

God is beautiful.  His work is amazing, but we never really appreciate it until we walk through the fires and battlefields of life.  We can never really appreciate the sunrise until we feel the darkness creep around us, reaching out to consume us.  We can never really appreciate this life that God has given to us until we stare death in the face and continue living. 

If we live out the faith, we cannot be complacent with living safely. 

God Bless and PEACE

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits -
 - Psalm 103:1-2

There is something beautiful about being a part of worship.  When you are surrounded by voices singing His praise.  It lifts the soul and brings a smile to my day. 

This morning at church, I had the privilege of sitting next to one of my co-workers and his family.  During the worship, his young son started singing at the tops of his lungs, which made me smile even more. 

There is just something about the voices of children worshiping God. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship your holy name
 - 10,000 Reasons, Matt Redman

God Bless and PEACE

It’s been a year of triumphs and victories, struggles and failures, joy and sorrow.  It’s been a year of growth and learning, discoveries and miracles.  I’ve come closer to God and learned what it means to love unconditionally, to forgive. 

Even in times of great light, shadows fall across out path.  This year hasn’t always been easy, there have been bumps in the road and times where the darkness was so consuming that I couldnt see my own feet on the path that God had set before me. 

A year ago I continued on my journey with AmeriCorps*NCCC.  I headed out to complete the Wildland Firefighting with the El Paso County Fire Crew in Colorado Springs before returning to my own team.  Despite the opportunity, I was torn when I was called up as an Alternate to join the Fire Management team, just two weeks or so after joining them in Tulsa, OK.  After a massive snowstorm, dozens of conversations with teammates, dreading my hair and heading out in the early hours of the morning I joined the Fire Management Team down in Crown King, AZ. 

It was a rough four weeks where I continually asked myself if this was where I wanted to be.  I loved the work, but had difficulties connecting with the team that I barely knew.  Soon enough, we headed back and I joined up with Shuffle Sun 6 as we headed out to Williamsburg, MO where we helped repair trails, cleared duck boxes, cut down Autumn Olives and proceeded to help with controlled burns. 

As the team scattered for Spring Break, we watched as storms rolled past and tornadoes touched down around us.  We felt the storms that slammed through the southern states, as a teammate desperately reached out to get ahold of family.  None of us were surprised to get the call to pack up and be prepared to head out on Disaster Response and after several days of waiting, we headed out to St. Louis to help in the clean-up from the Good Friday Tornadoes. 

It was there that we worked alongside All Hands Volunteers, members of the Washington Conservation Corps (WCC) and the St. Louis Emergency Response Team (ERT) as we cleared debris, cut apart fallen trees and helped homeowners rebuild their communities.  Although we received the crushing news that we would not be returning to the teams that we had come to know and love, we came together and made it through. 

A month after the tornadoes skipped through St. Louis, an EF5 slammed into Joplin and turned their world upside down.  The next morning, we received the call to respond.  It was in that moment that I knew that this was going to be the hardest thing we had ever done.  We arrived in the pouring rain and darkened skies and began to relieve members of the WCC and ERT, preparing to head out the next morning into the wreckage. 

I spent that first night in the Volunteer Data Entry Center working alongside volunteers and listening to their stories of survival, darkness and hope.  Somehow, in the days that followed, I was put in charge of the room and helped to set up Google Spread Sheets to input volunteer information.  Despite the suffering and brokeness that surrounded us, their stories of hope, close calls and courage gave me the strength to support them. 

After 36 days on disaster (13 in Joplin) we returned to Denver and prepared for our last month of service.  After an event that threatened to tear the team apart and a confrontation with our Team Leader, we headed out with one of the Office TLs for Lake Houston Wilderness Park to help out with several day camps for 9 to 13 year old kids.  Despite our struggles with our site supervisor, we persevered through it all and learned all about fishing, kayaking, hiking, nature and archery. 

At some point in January, my sister shared the news that I was going to be an Uncle to twins.  While in St. Louis, she asked if I would be the Godfather for my niece, Zoey.  After being born months to early, they had an adventurous first couple months as they were evacuated out of Minot, ND days after their birth to Fargo.  It was there in the days after finishing AmeriCorps that I saw them for the first time.  Barely bigger than a football, I gingerly held them.  Their birth, survival and story is a miracle that proves that God is constantly watching over the littlest of his children.  This past month, I journeyed home (to N. VA) for their baptism. 

After helping my father rebuild the staircase in my sisters basement (destroyed in the flooding), I headed back home with him to survive the Earthquake that shook the East Coast and the passing of Hurricane Irene. 

Last year, while aboard the M/V Africa Mercy, I met an amazing daughter of God.  Although we kinda kept in touch after my departure, there was something that was never said.  While in Williamsburg, just weeks before departing for Disaster Response, I sent her a message telling her for the first time that I missed her.  That started a conversation that lasted several weeks that turned into months as we messaged one another back and forth.  After she returned stateside, while I was in Houston, we started to talk over the phone.

In the weeks following my graduation from AmeriCorps*NCCC, I journeyed with my grandfather and several aunts and uncles, and cousins to Ireland.  It was there that we traveled through Northern Ireland, learning the history of the nation and a little bit about our own distant relatives. 

Upon my return, I had the opportunity to travel up to New Hampshire to visit Annie for the first time in over a year.  We shared stories, watched movies and she got me hooked on the show Lie To Me.  She had smuggled my favorite hot chocolate mugs back from the ship and I gave her a wooden Claddagh from Ireland. 

After starting my job as a Wildfire Suppression Technician down at Ft. Campbell, KY, the home of the 101st Airborne Division, I had some issues with my first roommate and was kicked out with no notice.  Despite this, I found a new place that is much quieter, peaceful and closer to work.  It hurt to be accused and it was difficult to forgive, but God gave me the strength, the wisdom and the words to do so.  For a month, I had a letter written that only said.  “I forgive you.”  After many prayers, I sent it (with no return address). 

I’ve now been working on Ft. Campbell for three months.  While I love the job, it isn’t exactly where I want to be.  I am hoping to get back out West, into the mountains and the wilderness. 

As we look into what this next year has in hold for us, let us remember all the lessons that God has taught us this past year.  Through dark times and times of great joy, He has been there beside us to give us the strength to continue on. 

God Bless and PEACE

“Safe?”  said Mr. Beaver.  “Who said anything about safe?  ‘Course he isn’t safe.  But he is good.  He’s the King, I tell you.” 
 - C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Long before Lucy asked if the Lion Aslan was safe, mankind has looked on this majestic beast with fascination and wonder.  Called the King of the  Beasts, the lion has captured our hearts through stories like the Chronicles of Narnia and The Lion King.  Two of the iconic lions that kids of all ages have fallen in love with. 

The lion is a symbol of royalty, strength and authority.  Some cultures view it as a symbol of being in control of the subconscious thought.  Balance and judgement.  Justice, ferocity, wisdom, dignity and honor.  It is said the one who is born under the symbol of the lion (Leo) has self-confidence and seeks out passion in their lives. 

The lion calls us to take our rightful place of power.  I’m not talking about Simba or Aslan, I’m talking about the Lion of Judah. 

There is a reason why God is symbolized by a lion.  He is powerful, royal and he came to conquer death and bring us life.  We don’t always remember how God moves in our lives, but he is there, leading us and giving us the strength to continue on.

I’ll leave you with another quote from the Chronicles of Narnia:

“I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis.  I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead.  I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept.  I was the lion who gave the horses the new strength of fear for the last mill so that you should reach King Lune in time.  And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”
 - C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

As we await the second coming of the Lion of Judah, let us remember the birth of our Savior all those nights ago. 

God Bless and PEACE

I’ve had enough of people telling me that it is politically incorrect to say “Merry Christmas” but insist that I say “Happy Holidays” instead.  I know that the tradition of the Yule Log originally has nothing to do with Christianity, but was a celebration of the Winter Equinox, the shortest day of the year.  I understand that the long night is a significant event, but I’m not out yelling that people shouldn’t be celebrating it. 

Many different faiths celebrate important days of their specific traditions during the holiday season.  It’s not just Christmas, but Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, New Years and hundreds of “Pagan” holidays that center around the shortest day of the year.  And yet, the outrage is against the Christian holiday of Christmas because the huge focus our society places on the different traditions we have adopted into this celebration. 

That’s the problem with the holidays.  Our society has blown it out of proportion.  We mix the traditions and celebrations of different faiths and make them American.  Our society has caused us to lose focus on what we celebrate.  As Christians, it is important to regain that focus on what Christmas is truly about. 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
 - John 3:16-18

 As Christians, we find that the true meaning of Christmas is one of hope.  It is the hope that the prophecies of the Jewish people would be fulfilled.  That this child would be the sacrificial lamb that would save us all.  That this small child born in a manger would grow up to be the same man who would die on the cross for our sins.  That in this birth would give us hope through his death we would be saved from eternal damnation.  And through this death, he would rise again on the third day to return to his rightful place in heaven. 

We celebrate the birth of Jesus looking forwards to how he saved us through his death on the cross and resurrection from the grave. 

We give and receive gifts on Christmas day, sharing what we have with family and friends.  But in reality, we have already been given the greatest gift we could ever receive.  “For God so loved the world…”  We have already been given the gift of salvation through our faith, wrapped in swaddling and found in a manger all those nights ago in Bethlehem. 

God Bless and PEACE

When I left the M/V Africa Mercy, I left an amazing group of individuals, friends and those that I cared about.  I left and never told them how much I cared about them.  Many of them I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye to due to various reasons (the repairs in Durban, vacations, and the day off).  I never told certain people who I would miss them when I left. 

It took me almost a full year (9 months) to tell those that I left behind that I missed them.  Three simple words, “I miss you” that were so difficult to say. 

And you thought I was going to go on and on about the ‘other’ three words that our society focuses on (maybe at a later date). 

I look back and I ask myself why it took me so long to say these simple words.  I’m still trying to figure it out.  But I realize now that it is important to make sure you tell those that you care about how you truly feel.  You may never get the chance to say because you never know what life will bring you. 

So, think about.  Next time your heart is telling you to tell someone how you truly feel, don’t ignore your gut. 

God Bless and PEACE

While most of the fires on base put themselves out or are in the Impact Areas where we are not allowed to go due to Unexploded Ordinance (UXOs), active ranges and a multitude of other reasons that are too numerous to list, there are several fires that we are called out to fight.  Then, there are those that we light as prescribed burns. 

We have burned hundreds of acres of grasslands, fields and forests.  We ride around on ATVs, 4 wheelers, and pump trucks loaded down with hundreds of gallons of water, lighting stuff on fire and watching it burn. 

This job isn’t just fun and games.  Fire is dangerous.  We take all the precautions that we can, all the way from planning to having somebody up in the Fire Tower, 100 feet above watching the smoke drift up from the landscape.  We enjoy what we do because we know what we are doing and have been trained to react to the dangers that we face. 

God Bless and PEACE

I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic Church.  As an infant, I was Baptized by a priest, parents and God-parents. 

Many of my friends at school were raised under different traditions and soon asked me if I believed my baptism as an infant, then later Confirmation into the Catholic Church, was the same as the tradition of baptism under the early Church and followers of Christ. 

Being baptized as an infant, you have no say in your beliefs.  With this commitment, the parents and God-parents take on the responsibility of raising the child in the Body of Christ.  They teach their children (and God-children) all they know about God, Christ and His sacrifice, raising them in the knowledge of faith. 

This is Baptism by water.  A symbol.  A commitment by the parents. 

As the child grows into who God has called them to be, the choice eventually becomes theirs to make.  In the Catholic Church, this is the act of Confirmation.  When the child confirms their faith and becomes an adult in the church.  At this time, the Spirit of God comes down and the individual is baptized in the Spirit. 

This weekend, I joined family and friends as I received the honor of being a God-father for my niece (Zoey) and being present for the baptism of both my niece and nephew (each just 6 months old).  I gladly take on the responsibility of teaching and showing them how to live out the faith, to be a part of the Body of Christ. 

In my personal journey of faith, in the years following my confirmation, I struggled to discover God.  I searched and wandered down paths of darkness.  I discovered the difference between the Religion that I was brought up in and the Faith that I seeked and found in the blood of Christ. 

Baptism is a rebirth into the creation of God.  As we are taken under the waters, we die and everything we were is stripped away.  We emerge reborn, washed clean in the blood of Christ.  It is in that moment that we invite the Spirit of God into our lives and we are forever changed. 

It is more than a symbol of faith, an outward expression of our beliefs.  It is a powerful commitment between us and God that changes us. 

As I discovered what it meant to live by faith, I asked a good friend to Baptize me in the lake near Anderson.  For me, it was more than a simple act, but it set me free to live how God was calling me to live.  This act was not saying that my baptism at birth and confirmation into the Catholic Church did not make a difference, but through this, I was reinforcing my dedication to live by Faith. 

I baptize you with water for repentance.  But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry.  He will baptize you with the Hold Spirit and fire.  His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his thrashing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire.
 - Matthew 3:11-12

God Bless and PEACE